10 reasons why Carlos Tevez should force a move to Limavady United

So, the ever troublesome Carlos Tevez has once again been causing unrest at Manchester City this week, after allegedly refusing to come off the bench against Bayern Munich in a crucial Champions League match.  So, if he is genuinely unsettled at the Etihad Stadium, maybe a move to Northern Irish side Limavady United may prove to be just what the Argentine international needs.  Here is 10 reasons why such a move may work for him;

1. Tevez isn’t a fan of the English weather, so perhaps the Northern Irish climate might be more to his liking.

2. Limavady have a clearly ambitious chairman, who is probably next going to fax Santos about the possibility of loaning Neymar, so he can adjust to European football before his inevitable move to Spain next season.

3. Northern Ireland is closer to Argentina than England, with only a mere 6800 miles, and an average sized ocean separately the two countries.

4. Twenty million years ago Argentina and Northern Ireland were in the same continent. Tevez probably has some relatives in Londonderry that he didn’t even know about.

5. Limavady’s Showgrounds Stadium can hold approximately 1500 fans, which is 1499 more fans than Tevez has in the world of football at the time of print.

6. If Tevez refused to go on the pitch during a crucial IFA match, people would probably understand why.

7. Limavady beat Everton in 1985, meaning they have a much better games to win ratio than City do against the Toffees.

8. Argentina and Limavady both play in blue and white strips, so Tevez can imagine he's playing for his national team while he’s scoring his tenth goal of a game against Linfield.


9. Tevez could bond with Limavady’s other foreign player Kevin Roddy, who also comes from a faraway land, the Republic of Ireland.

10. Northern Ireland is roughly the size of the Falkland Islands, which means Tevez can pretend that he is the first Argentine to set foot on the disputed land.

Now I know Tevez is a massive Futera FC fan, as he has recently sad that he would gladly do us the honour of refusing to come off our bench too. So I’m sure that after reading this article, he will be driving like a mad man to get to Manchester City’s training ground and convince Brian Marwood that a loan move to Limavady United is in the best interests of the club, and the next logical step in his football journey.

Remember you heard it here first, and the first was…..that this transfer will probably not happen.


By David James